Blue x 365
I found a lovely site today called X365. It is a site created by a lovely gentleman who was looking for a unique way to celebrate his fortieth birthday, and has invited us along on his year-long journey of using 40 words per post to describe one of the 365 people he will be writing about during this year.
I found the idea inspirational, and have decided to join his endeavors, posting my own memories about 365 people, 45 words (or so) at a time. The reference to ‘blue’ is how most people who affect my synesthetic emotions feel to me when I encounter them. Blue are always the folks that I know will leave an impression; most other colors leave varying degrees of impact on my own future.
Start at the bottom, start at the top, start in the middle. Start with names that look as though they may be you. It’s all good. I don’t believe I will start with the most important and work my way out, nor will I start with the oldest and work my way current.
I think I am going to enjoy this project.
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♥ Blue #1 ♥ Jeffrey
He sat behind me in class, amazingly nonchalant for a first-grader. He was sweetly awkward when he gave me the valentine card he made himself. Later that same day, he kissed me in front of the bookshelf. I never forgot it. My first kiss. I would like to say that it was the kiss by which all future kisses would be measured, but that would be a lie.
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♥ Blue #2 ♥ Diane
Nineteen; I got a perm, she got a perm. I wore white painter’s pants, she had to as well. I lived in the hood, she desperately wanted to escape her own bucolic bliss. I feel guilty even now that she took up smoking only because I was doing it. I am glad that I never showed her the scars I had on my arms from cutting them with razor blades.
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♥ Blue #3 ♥ Joe #1
Everything my 20-year-old self thought she wanted in a ‘man’. I traded down for him and he never knew it. He taught me the meaning of the word ’shallow’ by his every deed. We split after I could no longer handle how guilty I felt by being with him after dumping my best boyfriend for his blue eyes. I hope you learned how to make intimacy last more than four minutes. I learned the real meaning of ‘guilt’ from you and never sold myself short again.
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♥ Blue #4 ♥ Jackie
She did her best to not be jealous that my menarche occurred before hers. She didn’t know that I longed to go back to my undershirt days. She taught me how to wear hiphuggers, bodysuits and platform shoes. She also taught me how to meet the eyes of someone you were lying to.
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♥ Blue #5 ♥ Mark
You were the same man after 16 years of marriage as you were the day I met you. The sad part is that I was not the same woman. You never understood why I wanted to hear about your day and share your joys and sorrows; I never understood that I could have gotten out ten years earlier than I did. In your stony silence, you taught me more about myself than I could have ever wished for.
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♥ Blue #6 ♥ Simona
You could always make me laugh, not an easy task. The first time I took the train to London to meet you was bliss, even when you forgot to pick me up at the train station. My first husband was very much taken with you. Even though we no longer speak regularly, I still think of you with much fondness and hold you close in my heart. Being an empath, I think you probably know this.
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♥ Blue #7 ♥ Danielle
Here’s to all the sleepless nights we spent online together, playing and laughing. You were always able to get me to see the brighter side of life, even when I was in the deepest of blue funks. You probably know me better than anyone else on the planet. Pretty amazing, considering I have never met you in person.
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♥ Blue #8 ♥ Theresa
So, was it envy that made you drop me as your best sister-friend in the world back in high school? I wish I could feel sorry for you, but that would mean I have to actually have feelings for you. I am sure you now have a lackluster marriage and one or two lackluster kids to give karmic balance to your massive, yet squirrelly ego. Coward.
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♥ Blue #9 ♥ Mrs. Johnston
You were the third pregnant teacher I had, unfortunately for me. You always horrified my fourth-grade self when you would pop out one of your contacts during a lecture and run it through your mouth to clean it, and then pop it back into your eye, spit trailing from it. You will forgive me if I had trouble concentrating on what learning you were trying to impart right before you did that. You were one of the meanest women I have ever encountered at a christian private school. I think you alone were responsible for my wavering faith in something that could produce such coldness in a female. Your child probably grew up to be a raging punk with fourteen facial piercings, all just to piss you off. You should not have been allowed to teach.
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♥ Blue #10 ♥ Virginia #1
You always knew how to make a bulemic 14-year old girl laugh. You had the most amazing nose; it looked like John Lennon’s. The best times were when we had no money and hearts full of youthful joy, a rare commodity considering we lived in the hood. I have always been glad I never mentioned to you what your dad tried once with me.
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♥ Blue #11 ♥ Jodi
We marched together in several drum corps back in the day. I was always envious that you laughed so easily at life, and never really held it against you that you stole my best pair of densiwoods and burned your initials into them, claiming they were your own when I questioned you. When you died 13 years ago, you left behind three beautiful babies. You were too young, and I am sorry that I ended up hearing of your passing from one of my neighbors.
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♥ Blue #12 ♥ Gillian
I was always so enamored of your name that if I had had children, one of them would be named Gillian. You were always so proper, and had such fabulous social skills for someone so young. Being British, you taught me disdain for American tea as well as how to talk to a boy without seeming pushy. Where were you when I needed your skills in my first marriage?
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♥ Blue #13 ♥ Jacqui Kennedy
You were the first non-familial mature female I ever got to know well. You always amazed me with how much energy you had. The summer I lived in your home with several other bedraggled rats who moved to a foreign country to march in Crusaders was to be pivotal in my life, even though I did not know it at the time. I was not around my family for my birthday that summer, but you bought me a cake and were the only one that remembered. I was very touched by that gesture. You also taught me that even adults could have fun with made-up words.
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♥ Blue #14 ♥ Chryses
I knew when I first saw you in the Torment chat room nine years ago that you and I would be together. I was lost at that exact moment of realization. What I didn’t know, and couldn’t have predicted even with the strength of years of empathic ability was how the road would not always be glass-smooth. Maybe I have never told you, but you have changed my life, not always for the happy, but for the better. Living with you has not always been easy, but it has never truly been dull.
Especially beginning April 14, 2006. You know to what I refer with this specific date.
You have always been able to make me laugh; I mean really laugh, and not in a patronizing, can’t-wait-til-you-get-out-of-my-immediate-airspace kind of way. You have shown me a side of life I would never have been able to slow down enough to see prior to meeting you. As you have said, my mind tends to work on things much quicker than yours does. And yes, I promise I will keep asking you the questions that you wouldn’t/couldn’t/shouldn’t ask yourself when you are trying to figure out some facet of our lives, either individually, or together.
If love is what we had when we took each other for granted, then I am glad that we do not love each other anymore. I would happily be your girlfriend as opposed to an albatross of a wife to you any day of the week.
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♥ Blue #15 ♥ White Trash Cockhound
How fascinating that our paths would end up crossing one day when you decided to flirt with my husband. Lucky for you he was so unenamored of his smothering wife that he allowed you to make yourself feel better about the fact that you have a husband, a boyfriend, and an affair with your boss (my husband). I guess life must be pretty hectic for you, and I wonder how you keep all the men in your life sorted out–you must have them wear name tags. Don’t get me wrong; I am naturally upset at how he reacted. His behavior was deplorable, but yours was just as nasty, my little Petri dish. My most fervent wish is that your boyfriend (who you claim is a loser, but I bet he hasn’t cheated on you) finds out about your itchy trigger finger and dumps your sorry ass. The only thing that is truly gonna end up hurting because of your careless behavior is your two children, who are really learning a beautiful lesson at your feet in how to respect themselves.
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♥ Blue #16 ♥ Suzanna Bettes
Otherwise known as my favorite grandmother in the world. Actually, my favorite person in the whole world, seeing as you essentially raised me and taught me how to laugh when I was sad, and how much better I actually did feel when I ate something sweet to combat the doldrums. You taught me to never be ashamed of who I was. I loved you with a purity and strength that can still make me cry, even though you have been gone for 31 years now. During my first disasterous marriage, I sure could have used some of your advice..as well as some of your kifli.
